Like any activity bereft of responsible adult supervision, the group discussions have deteriorated from intellectually refreshing when it first started to funny and not-so-funny jokes, some pathetic attempt at humor and, worse, perverted sexual discourse that I have been forced to participate in. Abhorrently divergent from my strict Catholic upbringing (Lord, forgive them for they know not what they do).
But censorship is the worse evil so I have gone along this path of intellectual descent in an attempt to stay socially connected. As the famous saying goes, “When in Salog, do what the swimmers do” or something like that.
So I have been waiting for something that I could use to raise the intellectual level of the group discussion in a very subtle manner lest I come across as utterly pompous. Lo and behold, it came a few days ago in a posting by “Menchie” Venus Comb. Ingenuous but funny, I’ve reproduced it below along with my serious rejoinder for the benefit of those who missed it.
A one night stand: The woman got out of bed after several rounds of lovemaking and said to the partner, I'm going to the bathroom to make myself beautiful!!!! Man said, I know you wouldn't come out of that bathroom...
Like • Comment • Unfollow Post • Follow Post • April 17 at 5:18pm via mobile
I find this "several rounds of lovemaking" intriguing.. now let's do an informal survey. I'd like to encourage all the women here in Salog to participate. Survey Question 1: What is the most number of rounds of lovemaking (one round = one ejaculation, pre-mature or otherwise) has any partner of yours achieved at any time in any one event? Survey Question 2: What is the most number of orgasms that you have experienced in any one event? Please don't worry, just answer the questions and you will remain anonymous. NOTE: We treat all information from survey respondents with utmost confidentiality and we never sell and/or release any such confidential information to any third party without your consent. However, your consent to release such information not only releases us from any liability whatsoever but also implies your consent to engage in perverted sexual activity with any of our favored third party.
April 19 at 11:24am • Like
The phrase “several rounds of lovemaking” caught my attention. Being somewhat naïve when it comes to sex, it intrigued me. Just what exactly does a “round of lovemaking” mean? What does it entail? I know a round of golf is 18 holes. You play a hole until you hole in and then move to the next hole. A round of boxing is three minutes. A round is considered a round whether or not there is a knockout.
Another reason it fascinated me is because I always hear big talk from small men about how often and how many times they’re capable of doing “it.” Well, I always tell them I can still do it 70 times with my woman. 69 plus one, that is.
In the absence of a clear cut definition I decided to give it a number. For men, one round is one ejaculation, premature included. For women, one round is one orgasm, fake excluded. Multiple is many.
And to find out with an acceptable level of confidence how many times is a man capable of ejaculating, and how many orgasms does a woman experience, in any one event, why not conduct a survey. One event is defined as the time when both undress to the time both put their clothes on. Time does not matter.
I was quite skeptical that even with ample assurance of utmost confidentiality there would be any takers to the considerable challenge ahead. Boy was I wrong. I guess these women of Salog who participated were just as intrigued as I was. Some pseudo Lothario emailed me – why ask only the women with the question on ejaculation? Duh! The answer is obvious, go back four paragraphs.
I can proudly say that I have the results of the survey. Although this was an informal survey, I decided to apply some statistical tools I learned from a Statistics course in college. I actually had to find the old book and dust it off.
First I had to calculate the percentage of women in the Salog Himanglos membership roster so I could determine the sample size needed. There are a total of 620 members in Salog of which 65% are women, or a Population of 403. Based on that number and the better to give the survey a confidence level of 95% and a margin of error of +/- 5, the survey Sample Size needed was 197 respondents. So after receiving survey answers from 197 respondents I stopped the survey.
It took me a few days to compile the results so I could present it to the group in a way that’s easy to understand.
To the first question (What is the most number of rounds of lovemaking (one round = one ejaculation, pre-mature or otherwise) has any partner of yours achieved at any time in any one event?), here are the answers:
1 ejaculation = 75.1% (or 148 respondents)
2 ejaculations = 12.7% (or 25 respondents)
3 ejaculations = 4.1% (or 8 respondents)
4 ejaculations = 3.0% (or 6 respondents)
5 ejaculations = 2.5% (or 5 respondents)
6 ejaculations = 2.0% (or 4 respondents)
7 ejaculations = 0.5% (or 1 respondent)
Now it can be told that 75% of men (3 in 4) are capable of only one ejaculation during any given sexual intercourse.
To the second question (What is the most number of orgasms that you have experienced in any one event?), the answers are as follow:
0 orgasm = 16.8% (or 33 respondents)
Fake orgasm = 13.7& (or 27 respondents)
1 orgasm = 56.3% (or 111 respondents)
2 orgasms = 10.7% (or 21 respondents)
3 orgasms = 2.0% (or 4 respondents)
4 orgasms = 0.5% (or 1 respondent)
So there you have it. 30.5% of the women respondents have never experienced an orgasm (though 37.7% of those women fake it)!
Only 13.2% of the women have actually experienced multiple orgasms as compared to 24.9% of men who had more than one ejaculation as reported by the women respondents.
What’s even more surprising are the graphic narratives (though not required by the survey) some women respondents wrote. Because of the wholesome image our beloved town promotes, I will spare everyone from such generous dose of TMI (too much information).
But a narrative from one respondent caught my undivided attention. It would be unfair for me not to share it with you. It goes like this (unedited): “I will never forget for the rest of my life this experience I had with this one guy (naturally his face and name are forever tattooed in my mind). Long story short, we met at this resort about six years ago. I was alone and so was he. I had just broken off with my boyfriend and I just wanted to do some serious soul searching that weekend. But as fate would have it, we hit it off. He was tall, dark and oh so charming. He told me I was simply irresistible and how stupid my ex-boyfriend was for letting go of me. That night was a night that never was again. We started with a prelude to foreplay on that moonlit night on the beach just at the back of the hotel, drink on one hand and holding hands with the other. We eventually ended up in my room and made love. Not your ordinary lovemaking, mind you. It would be a lucky day for me whenever I had an orgasm with my ex-boyfriend. And after one ejaculation he was done. It was always Wan Dang Sweet Poon Tang! This guy (I will not mention his name) came seven (yes 7, not a typo) times! And he made me come 4 times. Never before and never again has it happened for me! Oh, you, I know you’re just out there, if only I can have you again. Just one more night…”
Whoa! Now I get it. The same respondent answered 7 ejaculations for her partner on the first question and 4 orgasms on the second question. Maybe she was just trying to be funny. Maybe I should confirm her answers as a follow up to the survey.
Since I had her information on the survey sheet, I sent her a PM (private message) asking if her answers and the narrative were serious and accurate. She responded in no time and our PM went like this (for her privacy I have redacted her name):
Jesse: Hi my name is Jesse and I want to thank you for participating in the survey. Just wanted to confirm your survey answers and your narrative…
Jesse: I thought for a moment there that it was some kind of a joke.
Jesse: I’m really sorry but it doesn’t ring a bell.
Jesse: Hmmm....
Pauleen: And you even took a picture of my sister also. Remember her? Well, u should, cuz remember how sometimes u got confused sa sarap ay sinisigaw mo pangalan nya? So very naughty of u to tukso tukso me with her name. But I loved it...
Jesse: Oh I’m terribly sorry Pauleen. Now I remember! I’ve had so many things happen to me over the last six years. Had several medical procedures done on me that required general anesthesia. And it has somewhat affected my short-term memory.
Jesse: Ahh, will PM you. Got to go. Ciao…
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Paunawa:
Paunawa:
Ang lahat ng ito ay pawang mga kathang isip po lamang ng taong kulang ng pagmamahal sa buhay. Subalit ang kwentong ito ay hango sa tunay na mga pangyayari, para doon sa mga naniniwala at mukhang gawa-gawa lamang po para sa mga hindi naniniwala. Totoo man o hindi, sana po kayo ay naniniwala.
Lydia Astorga: As u have mentioned me in your msg., I am commenting regardless this was created or a true experience because it could be hard to raise questions that are not felt and managed. What is important here, there is sense by the illustrator. Surveys could be manipulated as well, as many couple has common experiences. As, what is the most # of rounds in lovemaking has your partner achieved both ejaculation and orgasm respectively at onetime of event. Truth! men as aggressors can ejaculate more faster than women regardless their partners is wife or not, at an expected time and even in any place. Only when ejaculation delays when men are fatigue, stressful and not ready. To women, orgasm are less experience because most women do not display their desires and are just dependent on what men are doing. majority of men does'nt also knew the needs of the partners, they are always in a hurry of their business however, there are men who cooperate the desires of the partner so that ejaculation and orgasm comes in right time. Men should be aware on what part of the vagina to touch, the woman must likewise be aware on where to push her sensitive part at the same time of sex hence,ejaculation and orgasm will at the same time aroused. Arousal depend on the readiness of their feelings. The time and place, dark or with lights, the environment and the like are potential to lovemaking. As to percentages surveyed, the difference rely on situational atmosphere.. . . . . . . I am thankful to the effort of Jesse Cabanacan in gratifying to "Menchie" Venus Comb erotic post of a couple thus servicing the Salog Himanglos member an awareness of created experiences of which is a common problem of both men and women. . .I suggest a capital solution to proper arrousal could be raise by imaginative question. I salute you Jesse Cabanacan for your intelligent make up of this agenda.. .I also thank Lydia Astorga for your good heart in inclosing my name for this substantial subject.
ReplyDeleteHehe, is the comment for real from a Virginia? Definitely not from my cousin named Virginia who is still a virgin up to this day...
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ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I also have a psychologist friend named Virginia. Psych.D The write-up more than likely is from her, not from my virgin cousin Virginia.
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